We all have to communicate (sometimes even when we don’t feel like it). The ability to conduct a conversation is useful everywhere - at school, at work and on dates. We understand how to understand the interlocutor, to tie and maintain a conversation so that no one is bored.
First you need to understand why you even need to start a conversation. If this is a business meeting, most likely you have a certain goal - to get a job, sell or buy a product, achieve promotion.
It is necessary to clearly formulate the goal and understand what steps need to be taken to achieve it. Business negotiations have their own rules: it is important to be prepared for a long journey, to be able to say no and try not to compromise. To learn more, it’s best to read Jim Kemp's "
First Say No
If you have a heart-to-heart talk, you hardly want to get help, rather, to have fun. So you need to be interesting and not violate the boundaries of the interlocutor.
The easiest way is to ask if he wants to talk now. Then talk about yourself and ask questions. Just asking questions, do not interrupt - let the interlocutor open up.
The important point is trust. This works not only at the level of open and closed poses.
If the partner is not ready to talk, it is almost impossible to swing it. That is, you can guess about his problems, but if you dig deeper, you will run into restrained aggression. You need to be careful and be silent more.
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To allow the partner to expand , you have to listen more than talk.
The technique of “active listening” came from psychological counseling. The interlocutor needs to be pushed to continue the conversation. In a good dialogue, this happens naturally. If you are interested, you yourself will succumb to the body of the interlocutor, you will squeak , grunt and smile. You’ll ask - you told her this, and what happened next?
Followers of neuro-linguistic programming advise using this technique for any conversations, even if you are not interested in the person you are talking to.
But keep in mind, the partner can guess everything.
If you can listen, you will be aware of the experiences of your loved ones. And this is not about gossip. You can understand your friends better - almost everyone wants to express their feelings, but not always trusts their interlocutors.
Questions should concern the interlocutor , be original and open. An open question cannot be answered with “yes” or “no,” you have to answer in full. For example: "do you like it here?" - a closed question. And "why do you like it here?" - open.
Questions must be original, because otherwise the interlocutor will not be interested in answering them.
For example, a person with the surname Onegin should not be asked about the novel of the same name (even as a joke). At the same time, there is no need to overdo it and fantasize - you too should enjoy the conversation. Look at the person and think what you want to know about him. Come up with a metaphor, compare with some beast or tree. So you find a new plane in the conversation.
For example, if the interlocutor reminds you of a tiger, ask him about the most daring act in life.
The question should affect the life and interests of the interlocutor - it is most pleasant to answer such. Although it is impossible to persist here - sometimes at the first meeting it is more comfortable to communicate on abstract topics. But if you find common interests - your favorite films, countries, philosophical movements - it will be easier for you to tell and ask.