Natalya Remish: Sometimes it seems that everything is fine with a person - he went to a new job, bought a house, has a wife, a child was born. What a suicide! American statistics say that 90% of people who commit suicide suffer from mental illnesses such as manic depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder. That is, diseases in which a person experiences radical mood swings - absolute delight gives way to deep longing. However, if you ask the families in which someone committed suicide, most relatives will say that they themselves do not understand anything. That the day before they went for a walk, planned a trip to the country, discussed the New Year.
Everything was fine. However, it turns out that “good” is only a competently veiled “bad”.
Olga Kalashnikova: The criteria for “good” and “bad” are rather unstable. For example, spring, Moscow is beautiful, it is pleasant to walk the streets. But when it rains heavily, the city "rises", as there is no normal stormwater drainage.
In other words, we focus on external well-being, which, unfortunately, is not always the main thing. As a psychologist and psychotherapist, I still stand on the position that mental and mental health is important. If a person is healthy in this regard, then he will live well without a new house, and if there is no psychological rest, there is no system for effectively solving problems, then any material resources will have absolutely no value.
Relations between parents and adolescents, between husband and wife, between mother and son - we have no criteria, which relations are “good” and which are not. The fact that we are silent and do not shoot at each other is a “good relationship”? Without increasing the psychological culture of the population, we will not budge.
So we will at least know that there are factors that we did not notice.
At the end of the topic, I suggest you watch two videos that illustrate the many questions asked: the person who jumped from the bridge but survived, and the mother of the Colombian shooter - she was looking for the answer to “Why?” For many years.
The next time you want to ask the question "why?" members of the family in which the suicide occurred, try to recall this article. I think the best thing you can do is ask - can I help you with something?
The material was first published on the website of Natalia Remish.