Imagine: you finally got together in a big company, the party is in full swing, everyone is discussing exciting news, the conversation touches on very ... ahem ..
. personal topics. How much sex is enough and is there a norm? We deal with the sexologist
Everyone is not embarrassed to share the details of their sex life, just like the heroines of “Sex and the City” ": one of your old friend swears that she and her boyfriend do it" every day, sometimes twice, "while another admits that after the birth of children, the number of hours in bed with her husband fell sharply. “We haven’t had sex for a month now,” she sighs doomedly.
To exaggerate or downplay the truth? What is generally “normal” in this sphere of life and how true are the stories of your friends?
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True that there is no norm - there is no right way to lead a good sex life. Each couple has their own preferences, and the main thing here is that the partners are satisfied with their intimate relationships.
But if you are really interested in numbers, let's turn to research. In one of them , scientists found that Americans aged 20-29 had sex on average 80 times a year, while 60-69-year-olds did about 20 times for the same period.
In another study it was found out that sex more than once a week does not necessarily make a couple happier in sex life - that is, more it doesn’t mean better, but at least once a week, having sex is still good for relationships.
But even this amount is not suitable for everyone - there is no norm in sex. Discussion with a partner is the key to finding the ideal frequency of sexual intercourse for a particular couple: some do it every day, others only once a month. Both that, and another - it is normal if at the same time both partners feel satisfied.
Age is valid may affect the frequency of sexual acts: physical changes, such as fluctuations in estrogen and testosterone levels, affect libido.
The peak of sexual desire falls on different periods of life in men and women - for the former it is the teenage years, for the latter 30–39 years.
But there are other factors. For example, in the course of the study , in which middle-aged people (45-65 years old) participated, it was possible to find out that the older a person feels and the more negatively he treats aging, the less pleasure he receives from sex. A very powerful influence on libido is the way you feel.
Scientists also suggest that in both women and men, libido reaches a peak when they feel as comfortable as possible in their bodies, feel beautiful and sexy, which theoretically can be at any age.
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Stress and image features life can also affect how often a person wants sex, and these factors can change throughout life. Anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, problems in sexual life, dissatisfaction with your own body and any other emotional problems can reduce sexual desire, while during periods when you are not stressed, your sexual desire will be stronger.
Honeymoon Stage When both partners constantly want sex with each other, it can last about two years. But what happens after?
Couples who have been together for a long time, who have children or work, who are constantly under stress, can easily not even think about intimacy for months - they are too exhausted, they have a lot of stress, they need to do so much.
Of course, children change the life of a couple, this also affects sex.
Time also leaves its mark - most often, after two years lived together, the attraction weakens. But if your couple still has sex, don’t stop!
Events such as weddings and the birth of children can be a serious test for a couple, but they also encourage spouses to work on relationships. This is accompanied by stress, difficulties, conflicts and has a negative effect on libido. But it can also teach you how to work as a team.
Intimacy will not always be the first in your list of priorities, but everything can change if you decide to seriously engage in this area of life.
The quality of sex is much more important, than how often you do it. If your friend, who claims to have sex every day, does it for show, do you think her sex life is better than yours? Unlikely.
Also not true: in fact, masturbation helps you find out what kind of affection you like, which, in turn, makes you the best partner in sex.
In fact, everyone faces periods of decline libido.
But this does not mean that something is wrong with you and that this cannot be changed. Contact a sexologist to find out what is the reason and how to fix it.
Do you like experiments in the bedroom? That's fine! You have the right to do this with your partner (of course, only if he agrees to them).
A decrease in libido does not mean at all that the relationship has come to an end. In this case, it is important for partners to discuss their needs, both emotional and physical.
And yet, if the couple has no sex for a year or so, this can be considered an alarming symptom. In this case, you should contact a sexologist to find out the cause of low libido and develop a plan to increase it.
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К Fortunately, there are many ways to make sex life better. Here are a few strategies:
Training, yoga, any pleasant things that distract you from everyday stress, have a positive effect on sexual desire. Have you ever heard that sex on vacation is the best? This is because a change of scenery and the absence of stress from the daily work routine help you relax.
The closer you are emotionally with your partner, the stronger your libido.
See a doctor and get tested to make sure everything is in order. If this is not the case, the doctor will prescribe you drugs that will return the indicators to normal, and with them will return sexual desire.
Feeling you deserve amazing sex is a powerful aphrodisiac. The better you feel in your body, the more you are satisfied with yourself, the more likely you will want sex.
Forget what your friends say, the only thing that matters is how good you are with your partner. If these methods have not helped and you are still not satisfied with your sex life, try to consult a specialist.