Scientists from Harvard University watched people for 80 years and
that communication helps you live longer and happier. But sometimes relationships with colleagues do not add up. The work team consists of people with completely different characters and temperaments, with different hobbies and views. Sometimes it’s not so easy to find a “soul mate” at the next open space table. And is it necessary?
At a new job, people often feel lost and alone, this is normal.
It doesn't matter how old you are or how good our communication skills are. Most still need time to adapt. It usually takes from three months to six months. That is why companies have a trial period. During this period, you not only demonstrate your skills, but also manage to understand whether you are comfortable working in the company.
It’s worth thinking for those who have been working in the team for more than a year, but still feel like a stranger.
The problem of loneliness at work does not depend on the size of the company, but on a combination of circumstances. In a small office of five to ten people there is no choice with whom to communicate. In the big - there are so many people that usually communication is limited to a team of several colleagues. If you do not feel a special need to make friends with colleagues, do not feel moral closeness with them, you do not need to force yourself.
Limit yourself to business communication.
But if you are uncomfortable with having no one to go to lunch at lunchtime with and exchange a few words with the cooler, try to establish relations with colleagues.
Try to understand the reasons why you feel lonely among people. How do you communicate with colleagues? What could be the reason that you are being ignored or (as you think) disliked? If it’s hard for you to look at yourself from the outside, ask relatives to help you. Do not be angry and do not be offended by their words, take note of them.
If you can’t figure it out on your own, consult a psychologist for help.
People do not seek to contact those who carefully leave communication. For example, instead of sullenly poking around in a new program and trying to figure it out on your own, ask your colleagues for help. Do not forget to thank! Do not ignore invitations to drink coffee together, try to maintain general conversations at least sometimes, be polite and open, try to smile. Regularly ask your colleagues how their affairs are going (do not forget to carefully listen to the answer).
At work, friendliness is not enough. Do your job efficiently, suggest new ideas, support colleagues in their endeavors. Do not sit aside when it is possible to do something cool together.
Specialists from the Mayo Clinic American Clinic say that adults with social support experience fewer health problems: they are less likely to become depressed and gain weight.
If you are concerned about loneliness at work, try to get rid of him, leaving your comfort zone for a short time every day.
For example, a few times a week start a laid-back resin current at the cooler. Meet colleagues from other departments. If someone from your colleagues causes you special sympathy and you want to make friends, invite this person to a cup of coffee. Or buy a drink with you on the way to the office to treat your colleague. Most likely, he will not refuse.
You need to quit as a last resort, when being in a team is too hard. If you love your job, try to deal with the remaining difficulties. Feeling overboard is an unpleasant feeling, but not fatal. Try not to get hung up on it, it’s better to just do your job well, be attentive and friendly. So it will be more comfortable for you, and it will become easier to establish contacts with others.