How and why to talk about sex with a partner: a step-by-step instruction for those who are shy

Most people have autopilot sex: standard set of poses, familiar partner, familiar bedroom atmosphere. Periodically breaking thoughts from the series - "what would you cook for breakfast." Everything seems to be fine, BUT ...

Sex does not drive: in the best case, this is a way of discharge, in the worst - a heavy obligation. No wonder they came up with the terrible expression "conjugal duty." Hey stop, they promised in the cinema that everything would be wrong!

In our culture, it’s not customary to say that intimate relationships are work. At the very least, we sorted out relations with people in principle: there seems to be no more doubt that we have to work hard for a strong family. But sex is still left overboard - it somehow will adjust itself.

In the films, the partners first tear off each other's clothes in a fit of passion, and the next second are already satisfied under the covers. In porn, there are no breaks at all - they are simply cut out during installation. Friends say that they have everything with this matter - listen, because around there are only sex giants and girlfriends of giants, few are willing to discuss problems with sex.

So ​​it turns out that most people live in a vacuum. It seems that there is enough information about sex, but it’s not always possible to apply it in one’s bed.

Good news: you have already two interested parties! This is your partner and you yourself.

I was in different pairs. Believe me, the best thing is in those where you can calmly talk about your fantasies and bring many of them to life. Sex is not a way to solve all the problems in a relationship, but its importance can hardly be overestimated.

Firstly, talking about this brings you closer and develops a feeling of closeness and trust.

Secondly, you learn to state your desires and needs. Many couples break up due to the fact that partners are silent about important topics, fearing a conflict or discontent of a loved one. Unspoken grievances and dissatisfaction tend to accumulate, then pouring out into passive aggression and other types of abuse.

Thirdly, sex is an area in which there is no "average temperature in the hospital." The touches and fantasies that aroused the previous partner in a new one can only tickle and bewilderment.

We are all unique. Experienced ladies in women's forums do not know anything about how to get exactly your boyfriend.

Okay, okay, we need to talk about sex, we already understood that, but from what angle do we approach at all? I just can’t just come up and say: dear, I would like to tie you to a chair today!

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