11 signs of an unhealthy relationship that we usually don’t want to notice (but in vain)

Sometimes at the beginning of a relationship we don’t notice (or do not want to notice) the partner’s shortcomings. We justify his or her unacceptable behavior and ignore the obvious - alarming signals that seem to hint: nothing good will come of this person. Do not understand what kind of signals are we talking about? Now we will tell.

Important disclaimer: the signals and signs listed in this text are not a reason for an immediate break. However, all of them, without exception, are the reason for a serious conversation.

The fact that your partner allows himself to speak negatively about his past relationship, says only one thing: he did not make any conclusions from previous experience. In fact, he did not understand what led to the breakup. And the position "I did everything correctly, she / he is to blame for everything" is a signal that very soon the same thing awaits you. Well, pouring mud on a once-close person is an occasion to turn to a psychologist (old insults, as you know, are ideal soil for new conflicts).

11 signs of an unhealthy relationship that we usually don’t want to notice (but in vain)

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For this type of behavior there is even a special term, gaslighting. In fact, this is a manipulation, the main purpose of which is to make you doubt your own adequacy. Phrases such as “you, as usual, react too sharply to everything” and “you exaggerate again” are a vivid example - they imply that your feelings are supposedly excessive and do not correspond to the situation. At the same time, the partner knows that you are right, but he is specifically trying to confuse you.

Gazlighting is dangerous not only because you are deliberately misled, but also because a person who is close to you questions your perception of reality (which is harmful to the psyche).

Learn to trust yourself - if you feel that something is wrong, most likely you are right.

11 signs of an unhealthy relationship that we usually don’t want to notice (but in vain)

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Less obvious, but no less significant the problem is hidden in a situation where the partner, on the one hand, is not against your communication with his friends and his family, but on the other, in every possible way avoids contact with your loved ones. Ideally, the relationship should be multidirectional - with a manifestation of interest in relatives and relatives of each other. And if you constantly find yourself apologizing - you ask your friends for forgiveness for the fact that your partner cannot attend the meeting - then it is time for a serious and honest conversation.

Only, please, no complaints and assaults.

11 signs of an unhealthy relationship that we usually don’t want to notice (but in vain)

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The way your partner behaves in relation to waiters in a restaurant, taxi drivers or sellers in a supermarket, can tell a lot about your future together (if it will, of course), namely how you will ultimately be treated. Yes, yes, such things, alas, are interconnected. You can’t be a hysterical and rude with one (especially those who can’t fight back properly) and a balanced intelligent person with others.

11 signs of an unhealthy relationship that we usually don’t want to notice (but in vain)

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Phrases "she / he does not like apologize, but I know for sure that he / she regrets "or" he / she never apologizes, but always after a quarrel tries to make amends "- this is not an explanation. This is an excuse. The ability to find the strength to ask for forgiveness is primarily a sign of maturity. A sign that a person knows how to bear responsibility for his actions and admit his mistakes.

It is worth considering if in a relationship you are the only person who is able to answer for your own mistakes. Indeed, in the near future, this pattern risks laying the foundation of another, no less harmful model of interaction: one is always to blame, the other is always right.

11 signs of an unhealthy relationship that we usually don’t want to notice (but in vain)

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If you are in a relationship with a person , whose gaze is constantly directed to the display of the mobile phone, it's time to think and ask that he found there so interesting. Another reason to think about it is a partner who fanatically protects the sovereignty of his device.

So, when your battery runs down and you ask him to lend a smartphone for an important call, he will first make sure that there are no notifications or messages on the screen, and only then he will let you call. It is possible he has something to hide.

11 signs of an unhealthy relationship that we usually don’t want to notice (but in vain)

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This does not mean that from you hide something terrible and vile. Of course not.

Nevertheless, there is still food for thought - such "quietness" indicates a certain discord in relations. You don’t need to control each other’s time and money, but you must admit that it’s not cool to find out from Facebook that your loved one spent a weekend in another country or changed jobs.

11 signs of an unhealthy relationship that we usually don’t want to notice (but in vain)

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Your partner respects your time? Does he reckon with your opinion? Because of relationships, do you need to give up work, chat with friends or relatives? Do you feel comfortable in sex? At the very beginning, we often “push aside” personal boundaries for the sake of passion and desire to please, but the sooner you determine the boundaries for which it is better not to go, the calmer and more confident you will feel. But repeated violations of the designated boundaries are cause for serious concern and no less serious conversation.

11 signs of an unhealthy relationship that we usually don’t want to notice (but in vain)

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Public ridicule and sarcastic remarks are hardly can be called a sign of good relations, especially if you have already said more than once that you are unpleasant. The arguments “this is just a joke, I’m loving” or “I’m joking, but you don’t understand everything again” (hello, gaslighting!) Are not considered - if you ask your partner to be more tactful and not say offensive things, but he misses everything requests past ears (loving people don’t behave like that), then it's time to sound the alarm. Indeed, in this situation, you will never feel comfortable and confident in a relationship.

11 signs of an unhealthy relationship that we usually don’t want to notice (but in vain)

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We all do not get enough sleep. By the end of the day we are all tired and exhausted. When hungry, we all get angry. However, none of the above gives us the right to behave rudely towards loved ones. Moreover, none of the above gives us the right to give out our emotional restraint for fatigue and workaholism.

If your partner is always angry and always dissatisfied with something, do not put up with it. It will only get worse.

11 signs of an unhealthy relationship that we usually don’t want to notice (but in vain)

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You always what to blame. You eat wrong, sit wrong, speak wrong.

You do not slam the car door like that, wash the cups the wrong way, and not make the bed like that. Your needs, interests, preferences, problems are usually ignored, but your attention and time, on the contrary, are exploited - as a rule, you are a listener who should be silent and not cast a shadow on the speaker's egocentrism. If you just read a description of your relationship, then we have bad news. Here we are no longer talking about red flags. What do you! The roar of a siren drowns out everything.

Are you appreciated? Are your opinions considered? Is your soul calm? After talking with her or with him, do you feel better, happier? When you share the secret, do they hear you? Do you understand? If not, then maybe it's time to move on.

11 signs of an unhealthy relationship that we usually don’t want to notice (but in vain)

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